Hi, I’m E. I’m a Miss to some, and Milady to others. I hope you enjoy my blog.
If you’re new here, you should know that this blog contains BDSM, kink, poly and gender explorations, and explicit Sadiomasochistic content. All sex and kink acts depicted are between enthusiastically consenting adults.
I’ve been in mono poly relationships since November 20120; a smidge over 3 years for my legal husband, 11 months with my boyfriend or “Second Husband” as I’ve been calling him lately.
These relationships were Mono-poly from the start. My husband, C., told me I could have as many boys as I wanted before we were even officially dating. I’m open to the idea of his not being monogamous, but he says multiple relationships are way too much work. Pleasing one woman is enough for him. 😉 When I found my boyfriend, he was aware of the upcoming nuptials to my first husband and that I would never change. I have similarly encouraged him to see others if he wishes, but he feels about the same way as my first husband. Too much work, he doesn’t have the time or energy for a second partner, I fill him up completely etc. I feel what has been making things work are a variety of things, and they aren’t always actions. I think a lot of it has to do with mindsets and personalities.
Mono: Patience on the part of my monogamous partners. This is something you can train yourself to have with effort if you’re lacking, but with both of my partners, they have it naturally in spades. Also, not being too incite-able to strong negative emotions has been a bonus of their personalities that I’ve benefited from. They are slow to anger, rarely feel resentment, and I don’t think my first husband is capable of an ounce of jealousy.
Poly: The ability to proactively make them feel special and appreciated is a skill that I have to have as a poly person. With my second husband, I’ve had to improve or ramp it up lately as I consider dating a third person. Something I naturally have as part of my personality is being totally transparent. Being thus about a guy I like from day 1, when he is merely a crush, to day 330 when they are a full blown second husband is something I think my partners are appreciative of. Why? because they can see my happiness as well as my doubts. If I can doubt this new person, then this new person is not capable of perfection in my eyes and “replacement” and “abandonment” fears are decreased.
All of us:Loyalty and supportive tendencies among all of us. I wasn’t sure about my second husband until he started standing up for my first husband. Also, my natural inclination to always have my way is a tad selfish but I’ve managed to sacrifice now for later in making sure that I go at the speed my second husband needs so he can move forward on some educational goals before moving in.
We’re a poly V first, but being family is a close second, and backstabbers aren’t welcome.
M.E.
Deviantly Vegan 