“Slavery” doesn’t come close

Hi, I’m E. I’m a Miss to some, and Milady to others. I hope you enjoy my blog.

If you’re new here, you should know that this blog contains BDSM, kink, poly and gender explorations, and explicit Sadiomasochistic content. All sex and kink acts depicted are between enthusiastically consenting adults. 

I don’t own slaves. Every time I hear/read my partner being referred to as a slave, I cringe.

I know it’s just a label. A label that is hotly debated on the internets. To me, it implies a dynamic of strict ritual. Of a formality that has a certain distance. Slave is there, owner over there, an invisible connection almost permeable to the observant. No doubt that love and respect are there.

It’s not a label I or my partner claims. Yet it is applied to him after people observe or read of our dynamic.

And it’s so far off the mark. It doesn’t capture the emotions I feel. He’s so many things. He’s my lover. My friend. My family. My boy. His submission to me and my dominance to him is the entire framework of our relationship.

Property comes closer but then again, I don’t simply own him. I don’t merely bind him and send him along with a list of rituals and chores to follow or “Beware, ” scary Dom face. Pet seems a sweeter term. Yes, he is willful, and yes, he is pampered, but the term simply lacks all that I would want to communicate.

For I am just as wrapped around his finger as he is around mine. I stand in a place of power but have been bewitched by that of an equal who chooses to defer to my whims. His beauty and kindness brings tears to my eyes years after knowing him. Mutual admiration flows between us and mutual adoration drips from every loving action.

My connection with him binds me just as surely as the collar around his throat. This sweet intensity indicates nothing less than this: We possess each other.

I say to him, “Mine.”
He replies, “Yours.”

And “slavery” doesn’t come close to that.

M.E.

Kiss my Hand: Worship from my C.

From the start, I have had a special way of speaking with my boy. I don’t ask him to compliment me with a whiney note to my voice. I state, “You may kiss my hand, C.” I am gifting him with the opportunity to show his love and appreciation with a gentle request.

I’d like to share some of the wonderful things he has texted me after such requests. I “locked” them in my phone, they were touching. SIM cards, however, are fickle things. So I shall share the best.

March 19th 2013
You are good to me. I had a wonderful [spring] break. You make me feel special and loved all the time, and you deserve to know that you are amazing and sweet and smart and fun. I love you

February 14th 2013
I have having a low day and my boy texted me and said,

“You must mean you are awesome and beautiful and sweet and smart. That’s what “suck” means, right?”

8/15/2012
You are sweet and loving, and I constantly feel how much you care for me. I know that living with you has made my life immensely better, and your influence and direction have given me all the success I’ve had since we met. Remember where I was when we first messaged one another? My life is inconceivably better, and the order and direction that you provide me is the greatest reason for this. I want you to know that I see the way you organize our lives: the way you keep our schedule and plan nice things for us, the budget you keep that has made us rock at household finance, and the work you do and that you direct for me that keeps our living space comfortable. Without your leadership we wouldn’t have any of this, and my life would be like it was before I met you: empty, boring, poorly organized, and sad. Moving in with you is the best thing I’ve ever done for my own well being. I want you to know that I am incredibly grateful for everything you’ve done to improve my life. I do think about the time we’ve been together, and I tell you that this is, without a doubt, the happiest time I’ve had in my life. Since you are largely responsible, I thought you deserved to know.

3/6/2012
You have improved my life immeasurably, Miss E. I eat and sleep better. I keep a more regular schedule. I think more carefully about my actions. Sometimes, I am grumpy, but I’m never depressed, now that I’m with you. My life has direction. We have big plans, and your leadership is the reason. You are smart, good-natured, well-organized, and interesting. Because of you, I am having a far less mundane life. Think about what I do when I’m not around you, and what I did before I met you: I watch sports, play computer or internet games, post some message board comments, study, and work. Every big, interesting, and unique thing I’ve done for more than a year has been under your direction. To answer your question, again: I am glad I got on a bus.

6/28/2011
Are you busy? I thought we’d be hugging by now. (He was waiting in the car outside my work. So darned cute.)

4/18/2011
Miss E, you are patient with me in everything I do. You worry that your negative reactions bother me. As much as I sometimes inconvenience you, I deserve worse than a moment of anger; but you know my heart belongs to you, and you work hard to build our relationship, after my errors, rather than tear it apart. Our partnership means everything to me. I have so much more joy with you than I do without. Your patience shows that you feel the same way. We have inside jokes and a thousand on ongoing conversations. We have a shared language. We know one another’s needs. We love each other. No matter what happens between us, we have enough shared value to push through it and restore our relationship, and we have too much together for me to do anything to put it at risk. In short, I am entirely committed to you.

3/14/2011
Miss E, you have the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. It is soft, but authoritative. I hear it, god know that I must obey you. Your eyes are deep and warm, the prettiest brown. They could kill of in one look, if you wanted. Your lips are gorgeous; I need to kiss you. You are the most beautiful person ever.

3/13 /2011
“Want to learn to use my hands better” Oh my goodness, Miss E, you can do anything you want with me.—Talking about toe-sucking, Miss E, I said something like “I have an E foot fetish, just like I have a fetish of everything about you.” — Your eyes are my favorite color, Miss E. A beautiful brown.

Also 3/13/2011
Miss E, our relationship will also last more than 38 years, thanks to your strength of character and your gentleness with me. For everything you have already done for me, you deserve to have me forever.I am living up to your expectations, Miss E, and that makes me feel important and complete.

Affection from M.

Hi, I’m E. I’m a Miss to some, and Milady to others. I hope you enjoy my blog.

If you’re new here, you should know that this blog contains BDSM, kink, poly and gender explorations, and explicit Sadiomasochistic content. All sex and kink acts depicted are between enthusiastically consenting adults. 

It was totally out of boredom that I put my Okc ad up again the day after Valentines Day 2013. And closed it as soon as the system allowed me to. But by then we’d already exchanged numbers and I was crushing hard and he was too. He’s made mistakes; inconsiderate choices and comments but he’s always been sincere in his apologies so I can forgive them.

Just that he induces me to forgive speaks good things. I’m quick to cut off the dead weight regardless of ties. He doesn’t seem to get angry, either. Which has always been needed around me; passionate about everything; shoulda been a redhead ;) and even though he’s an omnivore, he considers me worth changing his eating habits for. I’m also worth driving 3 hrs a weekend to visit. And recently, told me he respects my vegan beliefs. I just wish he understood them… for now I’ll settle for his catering to my whims. I do so love being catered to.

I wish to keep his sweet text messages from getting lost.

Similar to what my submissive fiance does. Except I have yet to ask for it.

Sept 11th 2013
You are an enchantress. Your powers over me know no end. The spells you have cast, may they never fade as my love for you shall never wain.

April 11th 2013

I want to see you. i wants to kiss you. i wants to hold you close and tight. i want to have fun and i want my family to meet this wonderful woman in my life

April 10th 2013

You could knock me over with a feather. I can’t see anyone ever replacing you.

April 3rd 2013

I love you. I hope you realize just how special and happy it makes me to know you love me, too.

March 27th 2013

I miss the sound of your voice. I miss the taste of your lips.
I miss the smell of your breath. I miss the touch of your hand.

March 22nd 2013

You give me the strength and confidence to step outside the life i knew and look for myself

March 19th 2013

I completely agree that the play ramped up the level of trust.
I had a limited understanding of after care and your feeding me the potato chips surprised me. But why….. gave me an indescribable feeling.
and then yesterday you checked my back and applied the ointment
That showed more of what I had not fully recognized about you.
I am a fool for not seeing it all sooner.

February 25th 2013

You whispered the sweetest words
and i was intrigued
you whispered the sweetest words
and i was startled
all that could them be heard was the falling rain
for my mouth it could not speak
life may have designed our paths to cross
i am grateful for the gift and the boundless joy it has brought
yet fate failed to prepare me for your light your warmth your smile
i do not yet know how to love you, my muse
teach me and share with me thy joy

I beg you to teach me how to show my affection to you.

I hope to continue filling both writings with even more affection. It is so good to love and be loved.

M.E.

Symbolic Contract

Hi, I’m E. I’m a Miss to some, and Milady to others. I hope you enjoy my blog.

If you’re new here, you should know that this blog contains BDSM, kink, poly and gender explorations, and explicit Sadiomasochistic content. All sex and kink acts depicted are between enthusiastically consenting adults. 

Because we all know it’s not legally enforceable anyway…but I found it beautiful and meaningful to do with my boy. Someone asked me what the contract looked like. I did not make it from scratch.

BDSM Circle Lifestyle Contract

I took the above link’s version and modified it to suit my ideas better.

^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^

I, ________________________, with a free mind and an open heart; do request of ______ that She accept the submission of my will unto Her and to take me into Her care and guidance, that W/we may grow together in love, trust and mutual respect. The satisfaction of Her wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a submissive to be found pleasing to Her. To that end, I offer her use of my time, talents, and abilities. Further, I ask, in sincere humility, that, as my Lady, She accept the keeping of my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of O/our sexual, emotional, and intellectual needs. To achieve this, She may have unfettered use of my body any time, any place, in front of anyone; to keep or to give away, as She will determine.

I ask that She guide me in any sexual, sensual, both together with, and separate from Her, in such a way as to further my growth as a person.
I request of _______________________, as my Lady, that She use the power vested in Her role; to mold and shape me; assisting me to grow in strength, character, confidence, and being, and that She continue to help me to develop my artistic and intellectual abilities.

In return, I agree:

-To obey Her commands to the best of my ability.
-To strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve Her and limit my growth as Her submissive.
-To maintain honest and open communication.
-To reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment.
-To inform Her of wants and perceived needs, recognizing that She is the sole judge of this or how these shall be satisfied.
-To strive toward maintenance of a positive self-image and development of realistic expectations and goals.
-To work with Her to become a happy and self-fulfilled individual.
-To work against negative aspects of my ego and my insecurities that would interfere with advancement of these aims.
-To accept punishment for transgressions willingly and without argument.

My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and will in no way diminish my own responsibilities toward making utmost use of my potential. I accept that with this explicit agreement that I am owned until such time as I ask to be released and She agrees to release me from it.

I understand that the following subjects or rules listed are grounds for immediate and entirely warranted dismissal:

-Disregard for title while in public, unless previously agreed to.
-Inability to have audience with my Lady in a timely fashion.
-Seeking out the attention of another dominant female or male without garnering permission first.
-Having sexual relations with anyone other than my Lady after the signing of this contract.

It is understood that when an audience with my Lady has been afforded, that the details of this contract will be reviewed, perhaps edited, and then re signed for a time period no shorter than a year.

I, _______________________, do entreat, with lucidity and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied, in the conviction that this offer will be understood in the spirit of faith, caring, esteem and devotion in which it is given.

This agreement shall serve as the basis for an extension of O/our relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consensual dominance and submission with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving B/both O/our lives.

I offer my consent to submission to __________ under the terms stated above on this the ________ day of _____________ in the year 20___.

____________________________
Signature of Submissive

I offer my acceptance of submission by ______ under these terms stated above on this the ________ day of ______________ in the year 20___.

____________________________
Signature of Dominant

A morning with C

Hi, I’m E. I’m a Miss to some, and Milady to others. I hope you enjoy my blog.

If you’re new here, you should know that this blog contains BDSM, kink, poly and gender explorations, and explicit Sadiomasochistic content. All sex and kink acts depicted are between enthusiastically consenting adults. 

“Good Morning, Miss E..”

My eyes open sleepily to view the source of the gentle voice, a slight boy kneeling at my eye level to the side of my bed. I close my eyes again and mumble a hopefully intelligible greeting in return.

“It’s 7:02, Miss E.”

Further noises erupt from my mouth and I roll onto my stomach and shove my face into the pillow. I then realize I have, yet again, slept in some unnatural way. Time for new pillows? I wonder fuzzily as I rub at my neck with my left hand. I point to a trouble spot. “Here, C..”

“Yes, Miss E.” He states, even as his slender fingers knead into the sore spot.

“All over, C.” I encourage, after he’s worked the initial spot.

“What do you want for breakfast, Miss E?”

I pause my thoughts long enough to wonder if anything sounds at all appetizing.

“Nothing this morning, C. Just have a glass of water on the table.”

“Yes, Miss E.” Standing to do as told, I am left to my own devices and drag myself into a sitting position on the bed. (Yes, I’m this bad. It’s will never be natural for me to wake before 8 am.)

There are all of my work clothes laid out for me.

Legs still warmly beneath the blankets, I dress my upper half first. Why the heck am I under two solid blankets in late April?

Fully awake by the end of this, I throw the covers back. I hear noises at the other end of the house. Putting the rest of my clothes on, I carry the shoes to the living room and sit to sip at my water. I check all of my pockets, and the associated items of work are, indeed, there.

C. lists off what he’s packed in my lunch bag, tallying the calories of such items at the end.

“Sounds good.” I reply.

“I’ll go warm up the car, Miss E. I don’t have my key. Where are yours?”

“I don’t know. Did I leave them in the back door again?”

“Oh, here they are, in my jacket pocket, C.” I hand them to him, and turn to down my glass of water.

“The car is on, Miss E.” He states upon return.

“Mmmm. Let’s go then.” I grab my purse, and perhaps my lunch bag, and we both head to the car.

On the way to dropping him off at work, we discuss details of the coming day, and perhaps talk details over what happened over the previous night.

I kiss him farewell. “Goodbye, Miss E. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I watch him skitter off and I push on to my employment as well.

There it was. Wasn’t it exciting and full of such pornographic kink to make your mind twirl? Ha.

M.E.

BDSM Limits

Hi, I’m E. I’m a Miss to some, and Milady to others. I hope you enjoy my blog.

If you’re new here, you should know that this blog contains BDSM, kink, poly and gender explorations, and explicit Sadiomasochistic content. All sex and kink acts depicted are between enthusiastically consenting adults. 

In BDSM, limits refer to issues that participants in a play scene or dynamic feel strongly about, usually referring to prohibited activities. Participants typically negotiate an outline of what activities will and will not take place. The participants outline what they desire or will not tolerate, including the determination of limits. For example, it is common to set a safe word and to establish certain types of play as prohibited. ~Wikipedia

Egalitarianism
Egalitarian relationships are something I’d red light off the cuff. May then ease into into a yellow light with time. I’ve never had one that didn’t turn into some sort of abuse; actual physical abuse, outright neglect, self abuse, or a combination of all three. Self abuse being that I curbed my personality, slammed the breaks on ever making demands that would even hint of ultimatums… I questioned my self worth and, sometimes, my sanity.

I would let myself get run away with emotions about people I hardly knew… Gloss over all the flaws until I was completely emotionally invested… Then realize I’ve given too much without getting anything positive back…

Egalitarianism is very hard for me because the lines of what’s “fair” is so blurred and left up to interpretation that it takes constant navigation and two completely involved parties. I feel it is more of a pipe dream for most who attempt it, and the pipe dream’s black sheep cousin for my own personal way of living.

Submission

The idea of my submitting gives me a headache. Vanilla dating gives me enough stress without tilting the power exchange against me. No.

Online Financial domination:
I’ve done it, once. I felt like a sex line operator trying to keep him on the line. I didn’t like it. Nor do I like the position of power it accidentally put him in, as he started expecting things and my morality concerning “customer service” caused me to feel like I had to. I want expectations to be clear,rather than all the wishy washy requests and general disrespect.

That said, I am curious about Real Time clear cut d/s flavored sugar baby scenario s

Flip side of the above:
I love to spoil my boy(s), once they’re established as mine. I’m open about my income so anyone interested knows I’m not a free loader and have established the basic form of adult responsibility. I find it entirely inappropriate for anyone to ask to borrow money if I don’t have easy access to breaking your knees when I don’t get it back. The thing is, I don’t lend out money unless I absolutely know I can live without it- with the expectation that it would be nice if you paid me back. I did make a FOOD care package for a boy the was under consideration, but food is entirely different from cash. Putting you under consideration means nothing but that I’m dedicating time to getting to know you and eking out whether we’re a match.. Not that I trust or love you or wouldn’t mind lending you cash. That comes later, after actually meeting in person. Experience with your personality. You know. Reality.

Reciprocation concerning nude photos:
I have been blackmailed with nude photos before. Not in the “Oh this will be so humiliating to all your facebook friends” kind of way. But the “You won’t get the job you’ve been looking for for 18 months because I’m showing this to your possibly future boss,” kind of way. You either see my curvy sexy body in person, or not at all. The end.

Cyber and phone sex:
Cyber just doesn’t do it for me. I can’t even read erotica, more often then not. The words so rarely do it, when I’ve had it in person for so long. Don’t bother to offer; I won’t be remotely tempted. When I do write erotica, I skip over the intercourse part near entirely. Scenarios of power exchange are much more erotic than any described juices flowing. I actually have enjoyed phone sex. I really like sounds. Only with people I’ve gotten to know. Example: Someone I’ve spoken in depth with for a month and then I OFFER. Don’t ask for it or you’ll get blocked. ew.

Sex text:
Similar to cyber sex, unless it’s used to tease my boy. But I know him. And I’ll get to come home and tease/use him in person a few hours later. Not interested in strangers, it bores me just as much as cyber sex does.

Adult Baby
I have not one maternal bone in my body towards those in diapers or who are just freshly out of them and I don’t want to watch an adult pee/poop on anything, drink from a bottle, or talk in baby speak.

Believed female supremacy:
Mostly, I just don’t feel it. I would break into giggles at myself the first time I even portrayed it for fun. I can’t take it seriously, but respect those who feel that way about the female sex. I don’t think less of them for it.Elaborated thoughts here.

Forced bisexuality:
True non consent is not safe in a legal way, and I’m not willing to risk it. “forced bisexuality” sounds too much like “rape” to me. Although you may air a wish to be forced, I have to know that that is actually a “wish.” AKA, “I want this and this to happen. I’m letting you know I would enjoy that.” As long as consent is involved, I can get into it. However, I have a heavy preference to watch boys who like boys playing with boys. So, forced isn’t really my preference, and I don’t seek it for that reason.

Toilet Play/scat/urine/catheter play:
I was a nurse aide for 4 years, and I remain in the health field even now. I’ve seen all sizes, shapes, amounts, and smells. It’s not sexy. It’s not clean. I’m not doing it.

Blood/needles/cutting/living corset
I hate seeing needles go into my own skin. I don’t avoid it, but I only submit to a needle when I have to. I’ve never found blood pretty, nor does it have a very nice smell or taste. I associate cutting with people who have emotional problems, even though logically I understand masochists just have different receptors. I won’t do it to you and if you’re with me, I’m not interested in watching or encouraging the action.

Kids:
Although I’ve joked with my boy that I get the benefit of legally enjoying his “boy” looks, kids are kids. And today, kids are even less mature, despite the amount of sex on tv. Then there is the legal risk. Not interested.

Beastiality:
I just think it’s wrong. I have strong vegan like values, and I don’t think an animal is capable of consent. Not much need to elaborate on that.

Breath Play/true non consent:
Dangerous. Not doing it. On the latter, it’s dangerous in a legal way.

Married Cheaters:
I plan on getting married in 2013, despite not actually believing in marriage as it is most often portrayed. I don’t need a piece of paper that allows the government to be further invasive about my relationships. I do think of marriage as an interesting right of passage, like actually going to the Graduation Ceremony of Highschool. Would you have graduated anyway even if you hadn’t gone? Yeah. When it comes to dating already married people, the idea feels uncomfortable, but I’m not against it. I would want to know how your poly relationship worked and, if we dated more than 5 seconds, a little un organized chat, because I’m a curious person and it would make me feel more comfortable and trusting regarding both of you consenting to my relationship with you, the male married person.

M.E.

My Definition of a Play Partner

Hi, I’m E. I’m a Miss to some, and Milady to others. I hope you enjoy my blog.

If you’re new here, you should know that this blog contains BDSM, kink, poly and gender explorations, and explicit Sadiomasochistic content. All sex and kink acts depicted are between enthusiastically consenting adults. 

How it Works

No sex. Not dating. Just trying out new things. Like friends who only meet to go skiing. I may see you naked, depending on what we did, but that doesn’t mean I’ll sex you.

We chat through message or in person. See if either of us is capable of not setting off the “creep-dar”.

We schedule a “meet” which is not a date. I pay for my own stuff. You pay for yours. And we just talk, see if there is chemistry, see if body language and attitude are good and consistent.

Part after a good chat with a hug. Take a day or two to decide if we really want to meet again.

Set up a a second meet. This is where we talk “How,” “When,” “Where,” of a play scene. We will most likely play on the third meet.

Place

I will provide the place the first and perhaps even second time. At that point, I may feel comfortable enough to do it at your own place of residence.

Equipment

I have access or own most of the basics of bondage items but do not own any high end impact toys, fancy oils, or specialty kink items. I expect you to provide anything I don’t have if you wish it to be used on you.

Scene Details

I expect cooperation. I am not a mind reader, and if we’re playing, it’s most likely because we’re doing something I’ve never done before and I need some serious input about what it is that you’re envisioning. I still call the shots on what I do, in the end, within the realm of previously discussed limits. I am not your kink puppet and will absolutely not do things I don’t like.

Expectations

I hate tardiness. There is that reasonable “Time got away from me so I’m about 10 minutes late” and the very unreasonable, “I did not manage my time well and am 20+ minutes late just because.” I have and sometimes will ask that you bring specific items for the place. For example, I asked one gentleman to wear a shirt he didn’t care about getting damaged and a dagger. If he had not provided these things, the scene would not have happened.

There is a lot less I’m willing to do with casual play partners because I’ll only want to do stuff I’ve never done before.

There are a lot of kinky things I want to try with someone who similarly wants to do/try them.

This is a list of things I’m curious about but not things I must do with every potential play partner:

Giving Trampling
Caging/confinement of you
Giving Degradation
Giving Humiliation
Immediately induced sub space with hypnosis
And a few more things I haven’t even thought of. Some of these things can definitely be combo’d.

Have something not on this list? Put forth a play date idea.

I’ve liked fire play (not fire cupping) and enjoyed tickle torturing someone as well. I’m open to doing more of either.

I love control and male submission as much as the next Domina but if a guy wants to play dressup/get tied down and get pegged/spanked then I’m not interested…. not that I don’t like that, but that’s not NEW and the idea of doing that with someone I wouldn’t fuck the regular way is boring to me.

M.E.